Also This Other Stuff

by Brian Gray

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released November 6, 2013




Brian Gray Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Staff Meeting 2009
[Verse 1]
Welcome, folks! Another wonderful year for the company.
We've got great, big hopes, and some exciting initiatives for IT.
We'll be expanding, going global, so what does all this mean for you?

You're all fired!
We've acquired an off-site source to do the work that you guys do for a bit less money.
You're all fired!
This inspired idea by finance is the innovation we've been looking for.
You're all fired!

[Verse 2]
No pretense, we know that quality's probably going to fall.
It's just, eighty cents is what the overseas team costs on the dollar.
We should expect a modest stock price increase from the press release.


I hope you understand that we don't take this action lightly.
Andrew, give me a hand and show these folks the graphic that you
Made of the pile of cash I'm going to roll around in naked.

[Verse 3]
Your accounts have been disabled while we've been speaking here.
I'd like to announce your stuff is outside in boxes labeled "Engineering".
I see some of you have arrived here late, so to bring you up to speed,


You're all fired!
We're just tired of paying first-world wages, then you all want to take two weeks vacation.
You're all fired!
As required by corporate counsel, we'll have you sign some papers on your way outside.
You're all fired!
Track Name: When You Get There
Everyone watches as you're racing
Across the sun. They can't avoid the glare.
None of us sees that star approaching.
It's nebulous. It could be anywhere.

There's no rush to know where you'll set down.
You'll know you've found your home when you get there.

All the while you run those rings around us,
You should smile, and orbit us aware
That we'll be the planet to your moon,
The gravity for the well we share.

Your trajectory's chaotic, but we'll still be
Right behind you when you get there.

Watch out for asteroids there. Cyborgs and evil droids there.
Black holes and empty voids where you're alone.
Though solar winds get stormy, our fusion stays all warmy.
Collect some stardust for me while exploring

On your own. Discovering it all,
The great unknown. Make us all aware.

We'll be hanging on your every word,
So tell us all about it when you get there.
Track Name: In My Dreams
[Verse 1]
Dizzy, tumbling, fearful, adrift in space,
Struggling to escape it, but most of my soul was trapped in place.
Then you magically changed my world.
Ever since I've been flying with the girl

Of my dreams. In my dreams, you change everything
Black and white to a rainbow of light that makes me sing.
Promise me you'll still be by my side in the morning.

[Verse 2]
Prophesying on tiptoes omens of sin.
On a journey to Hypnos, but walking a line between the twins.
With your help I know I'll get there.
Tell the ferryman he can have his fare.


Where the real world shines
To show me truth behind the signs
I dreamed.

[Verse 3]
Falling downward forever, dragged out to sea,
Monsters, demons, whatever, I won't be afraid if you're with me.
The revelation is now complete.
I drift unconscious ablaze for when we meet

Track Name: South Bend Aid
[Verse 1]
You've seen it on the news: crippling devastation.
You can't sit silent from afar.
You're needed now, everyone from every nation,
Because the world is what we are.
Now's your chance to help the people of South Bend,
A life that's healed with every dollar that you send.
We'll rebuild better, stronger, faster and this tragedy will end,
Because we know

At least we're not St. Louis. A blessing lines the curse.
We've had our share of bumps and bruises, yet it could be worse.
The streets go mostly unpoliced. The jail's on fire, still at least
We're not St. Louis, but give us money.

[Verse 2]
This Godzilla-looking thing, Godzilla we're assuming
Crushed into metal, wood, and stones
The Chocolate Cafe, but not before consuming
A whole big thing of Toblerones.
The Morris and The College Football Hall of Fame
Are both destroyed, and the river set aflame.
Console the families of the students swallowed whole at Notre Dame
By reminding them

At least we're not St. Louis. A blessing lines the curse.
We've had our share of bumps and bruises, yet it could be worse.
We've been trampled by a beast. Not much left standing, but at least
We're not St. Louis, but no, it's bad here.

'Cause there are places on the Earth
Full of misery and suffering.
From Mogadishu to Detroit and Kandahar, for what it's worth,
Come on and join us while we sing

At least we're not St. Louis. A blessing lines the curse.
We've had our share of bumps and bruises, yet it could be worse.
Insurance rates have all increased. The zoo's gone empty, but at least
We're not St. Louis.

At least we're not St. Louis. A blessing lines the curse.
We've had our share of bumps and bruises, yet it could be worse.
Half the city's now deceased. Nothing grows here, but at least
We're not St. Louis, or Sacramento.
Track Name: One of Us
Coasting childless through the world, spirits free, standing tall
Friendly fire set to stun circumscribes the wailing wall
"One of us, one of us"
Sleeping on the weekend, causing wakeful wits to fret
Circumstances trigger chimes of Cultic tunes to cool the sweat
"One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us"

"Come today, follow with us" call the spawning Stepford Freaks
So cliché, so foreseen

Watch them come, come to take us to the feared suburban wild
Cannot win, cannot fight the fate conveying us the child
"One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us"

Seize the change, opt surrender to the countless clutching sires
We're the strange, we're the swarm

The single couple caught within our sights can only forecast when
They can't see the skulking us until temptation captures them
"One of us, one of us"
Their countenance of cold foreboding sparks the urging of our soul
The fearsome creep of tot conversion surfacing to swallow whole
"One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us, one of us, one of us"
Track Name: Jonathan Coulton - Nemeses
[Verse 1]
It's an amazing smile. Even the suit has teeth. Everything flash and guile, and nothing underneath,
Except a small black heart that no one sees but me. I've been watching, I can see you start to wonder.

Could it be that you need me to keep you out, to run you faster?
Promise me you'll let me be the one:
The worst of all your enemies, pretending you're a friend to me.
Say that we'll be nemeses.

[Verse 2]
Being a brilliant man, going to great expense, devising a master plan, doesn't make much sense
Unless you find the one you're destined to destroy. Now that you're here I don't seem that crazy do I?


Ah yes, my old friend, you are a master of this game.
The hidden blade when you pretend that you don't even know my name. Well played.

[Verse 3]
Sometimes it's hard to tell if you even notice me. Maybe it's just as well. It's better you don't see
The way I'm running just to keep your back in view, in your shadow waiting for the perfect moment.

Track Name: Fei Gong!
[Verse 1]
Fei gong! Time to take the field and get along in harmony.
Stay strong. passively resisting all who cheer for us to fight (fight! fight!) for vict'ry.
Steadfast, firm, and noncombative, we advance the golden rule.
So let the games commence where we only play defense at the Spring and Autumn Mohist School!

[Verse 2]
Fei gong! Impartial care's our universal tapestry to weave.
Our song tells a tale of struggle wherein two teams enter, two teams leave.
Respect, unselfishness, and sportsmanship shall be be our crowning jewel.
For the inner peace you've missed, trade your fist for pacifist at the Spring and Autumn Mohist School!
Track Name: Stupid Face
Out of the blue, expedited like an invoice long overdue.
Just realized that revenge is, as it turns out, best served to you.
No more why or when, my friend, ‘cause in the end
It’s gonna be all about the what and who.

You know who you are. You know what you did.
You know of the how and why and evil eye
That’s hidden in your stupid face.
When they see behind your disguise
The rest of the world will realize
Your face is stupid.

Lit bags of poo are waiting on your doorstep, addressed to you.
Spitballs take flight. 47 rolls of TP to tear into.
You can run and hide, I guess, but my redress
Is nevertheless a certain deja vu.


Your face is the face that grew a second mouth the other day
Then ate a puppy with that other mouth and flew up into space.
And left your body here to cause cancer with high energy gamma decay
Ok, there’s a chance this may have been a dream. Whatever, just in case…

[chorus x2]